How the fight started....

How the fight started ............

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire
while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have
sex?" "No," she answered.

I then said, "Is that your final answer?" She didn't even
look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started....
__________________________________________________ _______

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our
anniversary?"

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet
appreciation. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.

So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"

And that's when the fight started....
__________________________________________________ _______

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my
lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.

I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to
back out into a torrential downpour.

The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the
garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be
bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and
slipped back into bed.
I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different
anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'

My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my
stupid husband is out fishing in that?'

And then the fight started ...
__________________________________________________ ______

A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.

Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came
from outside.

The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled
at the man 'Holy Crap. That must be my husband!'

So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped
out the window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn
bush and to his car as fast as he could go. A few minutes later he
returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, 'I AM
your husband!'

The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?'

And then the fight started......
__________________________________________________ _____

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller
Light for $14.95.

Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.

I told her the beer would make her look better at night
than the cold cream.

And then the fight started....
__________________________________________________ _____

A woman was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to her husband, 'I feel
horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a
compliment.'

The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

And then the fight started......
__________________________________________________ _______

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some
reason, took my order first.

"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""

Nah, she can order for herself."

And then the fight started....
__________________________________________________ ______

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school
reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as
she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand
she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago,
and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' said my wife, 'who would think a person could
go on celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started...
__________________________________________________ ____

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take
her someplace expensive.... so, I took her to a gas station.

And then the fight started...
__________________________________________________ ____

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our
upcoming anniversary.

She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150
in about 3 seconds.'

I bought her a scale.

And then the fight started...
__________________________________________________ _____

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was
flipping channels

She asked, 'What's on TV?'

I said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight started...

I LOLed at every single one

lmao

HaHa, very nice.

lmfao great ones love the scale one

i have had a fight or 2 start that sounded like a couple of those.

Eyesight was a good one

awesome lol....my girlfriend stated quote "better not ever say those to me and mean them"

Haha those are great!

02BlueStang wrote:

awesome lol....my girlfriend stated quote "better not ever say those to me and mean them"

Did you say "Don't put me in a situation to"?